The VERY Latest Kitchen Design Trend 2008

This is truly breaking news, and truth be told, I am THE force behind what will prove to be a movement in architectural and interior design starting the moment this post gets published.

I predict what is already beginning to surface is this: Henceforth, and from now on:

There will be a kitchen in every room in the home.

If not a full size, then, well, something a little smaller, whatever, forget the details for now, I'm busy with the concept.

Kitchens are the nourishment, the heart and soul of the home. It is the most important room in the home. It is SO important, that it only makes sense to expand the concept! The advantages are really where our society is moving, anyway. Here are the advantages:

  • maintaining one's privacy-once and for all! You know all that privacy talk you hear? Now, there's one more way to be private.
  • have your own stash of food
  • decorate the kitchen however you want - seek out and express YOUR inner kitchen
  • design it to suit YOU, functionally, not for a group such as that family concept thing. Want the sink between the refrigerator and the double oven cabinet? Go for it.
  • the appliances are your orchestra and you are the conductor-cooking alone has its advantages.
  • you wouldn't have to unload a dishwasher filled with other people's dishes
  • with the kitchen in a living room or library, one can theoretically be on the social floor of the home but still be alone, that is, if hours for your use are posted in advance and doors are in place to seal the room off
  • you can happily combine cooking and YOUR choice of accompanying media. No more music/tv controlling people in the kitchen
  • you cook what you WANT, not what you are told to cook. She likes tofu, he likes meat? See ya later.
  • everyone ends up in the kitchen...what's so great about that? Crowds? Fighting to be heard? So not fun.
  • you have to eat three times a day, too frequent to have to stop what you are doing and go to another room
  • kids? Playtime is learning time...they need to have the kitchen in the place in the home where they learn the the rumpus room. They'll figure out how the appliances work - kids are curious! 
  • no more topics of discussion you don't care to be included in, no more worries about being invited to join in a conversation, finally.
  • you know that person's laugh you can't stand? Finally, no more laughter in the singular kitchen.
  • no more exhaustion of relating to one another - it's OVER.
  • with all these kitchens I'll be designing, I'll finally be rich, I tell you, RICH!

Hold your applause...There are, indeed, many more compelling reasons to proceed in this direction. Thus, I am beginning an association called the following: The Anti-Kitchen Kitchen. No, that sounds too negative...


April fools!